Win one of 5 ebooks of Moms on Missions

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Today is National Book Day. So I’m Canadian. Big whoop. A ton of my favourite authors are American, eh?

When I was a kid, my favourite thing ever was to curl up in a chair with a book. My mom was a teacher so I had quite the library. We have a recording somewhere of me reading Three Little Pigs aloud.

So to celebrate Book Day, tell me what your favourite book is now, and the first book you can remember being your favourite when you were a child. Gimme some detail about why and I’ll raffle off five Kindle copies of MoMs. The contest closes in 24 hours so hurry up and click.

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As well, if you’ve never considered leaving a review of your favourite book, please leave one on Amazon or Goodreads today. Even old books are listed and even if you only say, “This is my favourite,” you’ll be adding to the book’s exposure, so other people find it and enjoy it too.

To those of you who have bought MoMs, and especially to those of you who have left reviews, thank you so much. You have no idea how much it means to me.

thank-you

Oh. My favourite book? There are too many to mention. Click on my Goodreads icon and to find my reviews.

Happy reading, everyone!

Hugs,

Jess

 

 

 

Blog Tour + Giveaway: Moms on Missions by Jess Molly Brown

 Title: Moms On Missions

Series: Mommageddon Series #1

By: Jess Molly Brown

Publication Date: May 30, 2016

Genre: Contemporary/Humor Women’s Fiction

Artist Vince Russo wants to advance his career but his devout mother, Diana, wants grandchildren. Vince lives in Niagara Falls, the Romance Capital of the World, and he doesn’t even date!

Diana joins the Moms on Missions (“MOM”), who strive to better the lives of their clients’ kids. MOM installs Vince’s fantasy girl upstairs in the duplex where he lives.

Their pick for Vince is sick of dancing to her mother’s tune, so she certainly won’t admit she finds her sensitive, playful neighbour sexy. However, she’d love to make him her pseudo-boyfriend to get MOM off her back.

Will these young rebels come together organically, or is there no hope for their moms?

Amazon US – http://amzn.to/1WNiVgv

Amazon UK – https://goo.gl/6xz9hB

Amazon CA – https://goo.gl/lzRNsI

“Fuck you!” Drum Boy slams Mrs. P.’s door in his superintendent’s face.

Vince stares open-mouthed at the door in front of him, then turns on the landing to find Paeng at the foot of the stairs, dressed for bed, with no glasses. Steaming, Vince tromps back down the stairs, in time to hear the drumming start again. “What a nerve this guy’s got! Little shit.” Now Drum Boy is singing, too. Badly. Vince stops, wondering whether to turn around and march back up there to rattle his teeth.

Instead, he stomps back into his unit, Paeng at his back, and calls Damon.

“Vince, hey, how’s it hangin’?” Damon asks cheerfully. “Want to hit The Hill for a few beers? I’m dying to get out for a bit.”

“No. Do you hear this?” Vince holds up his phone to the ceiling, hoping it picks up the noise.

Boom boom chuck budda boom boom chuck budda “I don’t need a frickin’ girlfriend!” Boom boom chuck budda boom boom chuck . . . “My neighbour is an asshole!”

“What is that?” Damon asks stupidly.

“It’s your new tenant,” Vince growls. “He drums twenty-four seven. I have explained this to you, Damon. Twice. The last time Paeng and I had two minutes’ peace was the day before he moved in. I am losing it, man. I’m going to go postal soon. If I do, you are going to have to explain why to our mothers, and you are going to have to comfort them both while I’m getting corn-holed in Kingston Pen for capping the little bastard, capisce?”

“Whoa-ho-ho, there Vince! Did you say there’s a guy living up there? It was supposed to be Mrs. Maggione’s friend Gloria’s daughter, Mary. She’s gor—” Damon checks himself, and Vince scowls. “Um, I mean uh . . . Trudy?” he calls to his wife. “Get me another beer!”

Vince counts to ten. “Did Moms on Missions set this up?” There is silence for a couple beats. From Damon, not Drum Boy. The noise from above is as obnoxious as ever.

Damon sighs. “Yeah, you know it. I didn’t even meet the Chiclet.”

“No, no, it’s a guy! And the name on the mailbox says D. Darren, not M. diGiordano. Why didn’t you come to check out the tenant?”

“My mother wouldn’t put a crackhead in there, ya know?”

“And a drummer makes a better tenant because . . .”

Don’t be fooled by the seeming tranquility, Jess is scheming. There are a lot of characters in her head and all of them are yelling for attention.

She edits for professional authors and is always tutoring somebody. She got her start six years ago, in fan fiction, and is proud of it.

Four great kids, one husband *coughbiggestkidofallcough* and two dogs ensure that the house is always messy. The garden’s overflowing with blooms, but weedy. The grass always needs cutting, provided it’s not buried beneath snow. She lives in Canada, eh? The dogs are walked, the kids get fed, the hubbs hasn’t killed anybody yet, the books Jess reads she reviews, and somehow, the people in her head manage to make it into stories. Occasionally, she embarrasses her kids by doing Zumba in front of their friends. It’s just how she rolls.

Come join her quest for world domination at https://www.jessmollybrownauthor.com

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Pre-order Blitz with Giveaway: Moms on Missions by Jess Molly Brown

 

 
Title: Moms On Missions
Series: Mommageddon Series #1
By: Jess Molly Brown
Publication Date: May 30, 2016
Genre: Contemporary/Humor Women’s Fiction

Artist Vince Russo wants to advance his career but his devout mother, Diana, wants grandchildren. Vince lives in Niagara Falls, the Romance Capital of the World, and he doesn’t even date!

Diana joins the Moms on Missions “ MOM ”, who strive to better the lives of their clients’ kids. MOM installs Vince’s fantasy girl upstairs in the duplex where he lives.

Their pick for Vince is sick of dancing to her mother’s tune, so she certainly won’t admit she finds her sensitive, playful neighbour sexy. However, she’d love to make him her pseudo-boyfriend to get MOM off her back.

Will these young rebels come together organically, or is there no hope for their moms?

“Fuck you!” Drum Boy slams Mrs. P.’s door in his superintendent’s face.

Vince stares open-mouthed at the door in front of him, then turns on the landing to find Paeng at the foot of the stairs, dressed for bed, with no glasses. Steaming, Vince tromps back down the stairs, in time to hear the drumming start again. “What a nerve this guy’s got! Little shit.” Now Drum Boy is singing, too. Badly. Vince stops, wondering whether to turn around and march back up there to rattle his teeth.

Instead, he stomps back into his unit, Paeng at his back, and calls Damon.

“Vince, hey, how’s it hangin’?” Damon asks cheerfully. ”Want to hit The Hill for a few beers? I’m dying to get out for a bit.“

”No. Do you hear this?“ Vince holds up his phone to the ceiling, hoping it picks up the noise.

Boom boom chuck budda boom boom chuck budda “I don’t need a frickin’ girlfriend!” Boom boom chuck budda boom boom chuck . . . “My neighbour is an asshole!”

“What is that?” Damon asks stupidly.

“It’s your new tenant,” Vince growls. ”He drums twenty-four seven. I have explained this to you, Damon. Twice. The last time Paeng and I had two minutes’ peace was the day before he moved in. I am losing it, man. I’m going to go postal soon. If I do, you are going to have to explain why to our mothers, and you are going to have to comfort them both while I’m getting corn-holed in Kingston Pen for capping the little bastard, capisce?”

“Whoa-ho-ho, there Vince! Did you say there’s a guy living up there? It was supposed to be Mrs. Maggione’s friend Gloria’s daughter, Mary. She’s gor–” Damon checks himself, and Vince scowls. “Um, I mean uh . . . Trudy?” he calls to his wife. “Get me another beer!”

Vince counts to ten. “Did Moms on Missions set this up?” There is silence for a couple beats. From Damon, not Drum Boy. The noise from above is as obnoxious as ever.

Damon sighs. “Yeah, you know it. I didn’t even meet the Chiclet.”

“No, no, it’s a guy! And the name on the mailbox says D. Darren, not M. diGiordano. Why didn’t you come to check out the tenant?”

“My mother wouldn’t put a crackhead in there, ya know?”

“And a drummer makes a better tenant because . . .”

Don’t be fooled by the seeming tranquility, Jess is scheming. There are a lot of characters in her head and all of them are yelling for attention.
She edits for professional authors and is always tutoring somebody. She got her start six years ago, in fan fiction, and is proud of it.
Four great kids, one husband *coughbiggestkidofallcough* and two dogs ensure that the house is always messy. The garden’s overflowing with blooms, but weedy. The grass always needs cutting, provided it’s not buried beneath snow. She lives in Canada, eh? The dogs are walked, the kids get fed, the hubbs hasn’t killed anybody yet, the books Jess reads she reviews, and somehow, the people in her head manage to make it into stories. Occasionally, she embarrasses her kids by doing Zumba in front of their friends. It’s just how she rolls.
Come join her quest for world domination at jessmollybrownauthor.com

 

 

Narcissism 101: Squee!!!

Hey! Remember way back in April of 2014 when I told you that one day I’d be doing this?

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Well, I am doing the Internal Happy Dance. I won’t attempt to do it for real because I’d fall down.

You’ve been very patient.

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And I’ve been fairly patient.

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And guess what? Everything’s finally coming together!!!

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Well, maybe not at dawn, but pretty darn close.

Now, I s’pose you’d all like a little peek at Moms on Missions, First book in the Mommageddon Series, am I right? It’s a spicy comedy romance.

Summary:

Artist Vince Russo wants to advance his career but his devout mother, Diana, wants grandchildren. Vince lives in Niagara Falls and he doesn’t even date!

Diana joins the Moms on Missions (“MOM”), who strive to better the lives of their clients’ kids. MOM installs Vince’s fantasy girl upstairs in the duplex where he lives.

Their pick for Vince is sick of dancing to her mother’s tune, so she certainly won’t admit she finds her sensitive, playful neighbour sexy. However, she’d love to make him her pseudo-boyfriend to get MOM off her back.

Will these young rebels come together organically, or is there no hope for their moms?

 

Capture Denis Dervisevic flikr Chris arms crossed cropped

Excerpt:

The door clicks shut softly behind Vince. Paeng is sitting at the table, eating toast and peanut butter. He glances at Vince curiously. “What did she want?”

“To rip off my ‘nads and force-feed them to me.” Vince sinks into the chair opposite. “I am the screw-up of all screw-ups. I am the king of the idiot world.” He bangs his forehead down on the table and Paeng’s peanut-butter covered knife pings off the table onto the floor. “If all the losers on the planet got together to live in one city, they would name it after me.”

“Can’t be that bad.” Paeng shrugs, retrieving the knife. “What did you do?” He scrapes more peanut butter on his toast.

Vince sits up with his fists curled on the table and looks at him candidly. “Last night, I wanted to hang the drop cloth out on the line, so I took in her laundry.”

Paeng eyes him in confusion. “But, that was . . . nice.”

Vince’s head droops. “Well, I got some paint on one of her bras, and she accused me of snogging it.”

His housemate snorts. “Were you?”

Vince squirms uncomfortably. “No, but . . .”

Paeng is incredulous. “Dude.”

“I may have admired it a little.”

“How?”

Vince can’t look at Paeng. “Wash smells pretty off the line. Fresh air, flowery detergent, you know.”

“How did you paint get on it?”

“Um . . .” Vince swallows hard.

Paeng leans back and rests his hand flat on the table. “Vince.”

Blushing, he snaps at his friend. “I dropped the bra on the wet tarp and I guess I must have accidentally gotten paint on it and touched it to my cheek, okay?”

Paeng is silent as Vince sighs. “I didn’t mean to take my upset out on you, sorry.”

“No big. So, you fondled it. Was it good for you?” Paeng’s eyes glitter, making Vince’s anxiety flare.

“I couldn’t help myself! The girl’s smoking hot and yet she doesn’t appear to own trashy underwear.” He feels all dreamy just thinking about it. “It’s simple and soft . . . it felt so nice. She’s not like any of the girls I’ve met before. She’s direct, feisty and artistic and I bet she’s really smart. She’s nothing like the usual MOM Girl and she’s not even my type. But her underwear is beautiful. She doesn’t wear slutty underwear because she doesn’t put on airs, and oh, God, that’s so attractive. What I wouldn’t give to see—”

Paeng face palms Vince. “Dude. You are waxing poetic about cotton underwear like my sisters wear when they get their periods. It’s just underwear.”

 

Niagara aerial view at night cropped

MY COVER REVEAL WILL BE WEDNESDAY, APRIL 20TH. BLOGGERS MAY SIGN UP AT PROMO STARS FOR THE COVER BLITZ, THE PRE-ORDER GIVEAWAY BLITZ, AND THE BLOG TOUR.

I’m excited. Are you excited?

 

Promo Stars
 

Embracing Rejection

To get a novel published, you have to develop a thick skin, something I started to do five years ago when I began posting fan fiction for public consumption. As great as most readers are, there are those who like to flame writers. You have to learn not to let it get you down. In short, you have to be professional in face of personal attacks.

Melodramatic pug

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The worst flame I ever got was for my most popular fan fiction, “I Hunger for Your Touch.” The reviewer said, “You’re a mediocre writer. You ought to just quit and go back to your day job. Don’t subject us to any more of this crap.” Wow, did it hurt. As you can see, I still remember it and it happened 3 years ago. But then I remembered the 1500 reviews that were positive, and I didn’t quit.

I’ve been told by an acquisitions editor that the average manuscript is rejected seven times before it’s accepted. So I haven’t begun to reach my quota, and the positive feedback I’ve had on my original fiction leads me to hope that I won’t have to go through it seven times.

As many of you know, in February of 2012 I was approached by a publisher and asked to write a novel. I submitted my manuscript to them on July 11, 2012. On October 12 of that year, the senior acquisitions editor asked for changes and advised me to get a select group of friends to give feedback before resubmitting. She led me to believe my book would be accepted if I polished it up.

In November, the company restructured. The people who wanted “Moms on Missions” were gone. Nevertheless, I was asked to resubmit and did so in January of 2013.

My first rejection came July 31, 2013 and I was devastated.

Gif-Cat-shaking-the-headI honestly loved that company. The new acquisitions editor told me that they had great difficulty with their decision as they thought the characters and writing technique were excellent. The reasons they gave for the rejection seemed inadequate. First, they didn’t think readers would accept that a group of contemporary Canadian moms would band together to sneakily match make their kids (They never met my neighbours, obviously.).  Second, they didn’t think a bunch of traditional moms, aged 48 to 60, would use Facebook (I beg to differ. Statistics  prove it.).

So, I went back to the original, senior acquisitions person who told me to make changes and she very kindly told me that I had talent, my story could be great and I had to persist. She gave me more tips and I began another rewrite.

Now, if a writer wants to pay a professional editor to edit a book of 120, 000 words, the writer is looking at a bill of $2400 US per edit on average. Considering that many authors don’t get ‘in the black’ until their third novel, that’s a scary prospect. The alternative is to rely on beta editors who will do the job for free.

I’ve been very blessed with extremely talented Betas. The downside is, the process becomes much slower because they’re doing it in their free time. So yes, I probably could have had my book fit for publication a year ago, had I been able to fork out a couple of grand. But I wasn’t, and I’m very grateful to have friends who can edit for me. God bless them!

In late January of this year, I submitted a query to another publisher and received a request to see the novel eight days later. Phenomenal! So, off it went and I tried not to bite my nails. On February 19th, I received my second rejection. Now here’s the funny thing: I wasn’t devastated. I did, however, smack myself in the forehead because the acquisitions person was absolutely right to reject it.

THELUKEE on WeHeartIt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, you heard me. She told me that I was exceptionally talented but I’d made a rookie mistake. I set my readers up to expect a comedy romance and delivered a dramatic ending. It’s called a “bait and switch.” And I did it. I absolutely did. *smacks self upside the head*

For this revelation, I was soooo grateful. You see, the last thing I’d want to do is write a book that would disappoint my readers. I wrote back to the editor and thanked her.

I went to Hubbs with some trepidation. He wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns, but he gave me what is likely the most valuable supportive message I’ve ever had: You are in a career where rejection is a regular occurrence. Don’t fuss about it, keep working on it until you get accepted. Go on, get back at it!

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So, I started another rewrite the day I received the rejection notice, hoping to make the book more cohesive by removing a lot of the angst.

I see a lot of upset about rejection (including bad reviews) expressed by professional authors and hobby writers alike. It may seem obvious, but to succeed in this business, one must learn to embrace rejection and be thrilled if a publisher cares enough about one’s work to send feedback. While personal attacks are never acceptable, a negative comment is a chance to strengthen the novel.

In March, I approached three new people who kindly consented to read and evaluate “MoM.” So that’s where my baby is now. With editors. I haven’t received a lot of feedback yet, but I’m willing to be patient.

I’m not giving up.

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I’m not sure where I’m taking “MoM” next, but traditional publishing still attracts me more than self-publishing. But I have friends who are published, and the dearest of them said to me, “We will find a good home for MoM. It’s a great story and we just have to find the right fit for you.”

Are they great or are they great?

So one day, you’ll get an “I’m getting published” message from me and I will look like this:

 

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And then my minions will look like this:

 

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I do hope you’ll stick with me for that day.

Thanks so much for reading my blog and being so supportive. I heart you bigtime and I love hearing from you.

xoox Jess